Digging through a few boxes of my old high school stuff, I found my final English paper that I turned in a couple of weeks past its deadline…
Space Knight Sawyer was walking out of the cave on the fringes of the outpost when his intercom sparked to life with Princess Amelie's urgent call for help. His stomach churned and he felt the color flee his face. Sawyer dashed to his Rocket Bike and leapt into its seat. He reached for the ignition, then paused and bowed his head…
If you’ve been following me on social media for awhile, you’ll have noticed that I occasionally post little short stories for my kids in a series I’ve titled The Chronicles of the Dei Clan Warriors. I’ve decided to compile them here for the sake of convenience. There’s no underlying, thought-out-in-advance master plot here, or hours upon hours of careful editing, it’s just my brain to the keyboard as the stories come. Wondering how things are going to turn out for the Dei Clan? Me too! I’m following along same as you. Hope you enjoy!
Happy New Year! Procrastinator that I am, I'm sharing a post I never finished last year. However, it does also serve as an excellent point of reflection over one of our greatest family adventures of 2018... This past June I went on the longest road trip of my life—with my wife, a four-year-old, a three-year-old, a two-year-old, and a one-month-old. We had one reserved destination ~1,800 miles away and zero plans on how to get there. It was National Lampoon’s Vacation minus Wally World and the bb-gun hostage taking.
To backtrack a little, I should explain that this all began when my wife and I sat down to write out some New Year’s goals in 2017 and decided we should write out a “bucket list”. And so, we did—scribbling some prayerful thoughts on a napkin one evening at a noisy restaurant while a baby sitter watched the kids at home. Many line items spewed forth, one of which: the goal to see all the National Parks in the United States.
So, come this past May when we were blessed with our fourth child, Amelie, and a newly implemented eight week paternity leave plan at work, we asked ourselves: what’s one of the furthest parks we could see?
We landed at Acadia National Park in Maine, which is about a 27-hour drive from our home in Louisiana.
Abbott finished ushering the last of the sheep into the pen and snapped the door shut. With a satisfied smile, he threw his arm around the neck of one of his sheep. Pulling his smart phone out of his pocket, he extended his arm and snapped a couple of selfies. “Oh yeah…I’m b-a-a-a-a-d!” A sudden blurb of movement out of the corner of his eyes caught his attention. Phone dropping to his side, he squinted at the figure walking towards him, silhouetted against the backdrop of the blazing sun. It was Jesse’s son.
“Hey David, what’s up man?” Abbott called out with a cheerful smile.
“Hey Abbott...I need to ask you a favor.” David’s serious tone matched the concern streaked across his face.
“Uh...sure man. What’s up?” Abbott replied. Where is this going?
This Thanksgiving, I can’t help but reflect on one of my favorite home videos – in which my son is jumping on the trampoline with his baby sister. The dialogue goes as follows: Sawyer: “Mommy, tank you for getting me a baby.”
Caroline: “Where do you think we got her?”
Sawyer (without a moment’s hesitation): “At the gwocery staw.”
Besides being insanely cute, there’s a few nuggets about the nature of thanksgiving buried in the exchange:
“Dad, wook come see what I made!” My son’s face lit up with enthusiasm as his little hand pulled me towards the refrigerator. “Show me!” I replied, his excitement transferring instantaneously in a bold denial of the laws of physics.
“Wook!” He turned to me, grinning from ear-to-ear, tiny finger outstretched towards the scribbled mess suspended by a magnet.
“Wow! It’s amazing!” I said, turning towards him as he beamed with pride. I looked back at the piece of paper. It looked as though a game of connect the dots had gone horribly, horribly wrong. “…What is it?”
“It’s a (fill in the blank)!”
Now, I consider myself a pretty abstract thinker. Whenever my toddlers decide to show off their art to me, however, I’m usually hard-pressed to identify even a slight resemblance to whatever they confidently claim to have drawn. Nevertheless, their masterpiece commands an undeniable, rightful place on the fridge that I wouldn’t trade for a Picasso.
…why?
It’s not for the quality of their drawings – although I fail to see the distinction between their work and some of the stuff hung up in museums:
square
By Kazimir Malevich - (Transferred from en.wikipedia - was: en:Image:Black Square.jpg), Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=507949
It’s a square... a square. What am I missing???
Anyway, my point here is that the picture itself is irrelevant. It’s my children’s’ inner intentions in which my heart delights.
I wonder, how much is this adoration a replicated quality of the Father in whose image we are created?
Perhaps we need look no further than “the man after God’s own heart” – King David.
At face value, David does not fit the image of piety. His dirty laundry list is abhorrent. Adulterer, murderer, family in shambles, host of concubines…all things we would not or should not want to replicate. Yet, despite his shortcomings, David possessed a deep longing to be in God’s presence; to be apart from it was tantamount to torment.
“Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight…
…Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.” (Psalm 51:1-4;10-12 NLT)
David fell hard. He repented harder.
Now I’m not saying what we do with our lives is irrelevant. David paid deeply for his sins. David’s son born to Bathsheba died. His son, Absalom, rebelled against him and slept with his concubines.[1]Nevertheless, it was his heart – not his sins – that defined him.
In the words of Thomas Merton, "the fact that I think I am following your will, does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you, does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing."[2]
I am well pleased just to see that desire in my children, regardless of what they bring me. In the same way, I’m convinced that God would rather we draw a stick figure and bring the scribbled mess to Him, then paint the Sistine Chapel by ourselves.
And you know what? I'm actually impressed by the scattered streaks generated by my children's toddler minds. Who knows? Maybe one of my kids will be the next Picasso after all!
- Nicolas C. Day
[1] 2 Samuel 12
[2]http://reflections.yale.edu/article/seize-day-vocation-calling-work/merton-prayer
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A daily workout for the body, mind, heart, and spirit for Christian fathers of toddlers.
Although I have never done CrossFit, sometimes I feel that just being a father to toddlers is close enough.
dadfit
As you naturally find yourself carrying them from place to place, it becomes quite evident that toddlers have the potential to be a fantastic workout tool. Plus, each day that you feed them, they grow a little bit bigger and weigh a little bit more.
In truth, however, parenting toddlers trains us in ways that supersede our physical bodies alone. This fact (and the helpful suggestions of a tremendous brother in Christ in bible study) became my inspiration behind the development of "The Fervent Dad Challenge".
As you go through the week, not only will you hit every major muscle group, but you will get a chance to connect with your kids and promote biblical growth towards other important components of your overall health.
Note that there are two main rules that require strict adherence:
Don’t take this too seriously.
Have fun!
Though I tailored this challenge towards my own experience as a dad, there is nothing stopping moms from participating. Should you choose to accept "The Fervent Dad Challenge", I’d love to hear about the results. Please share your stories!
Caution: Do not perform any exercise in a speed or manner that puts your child at risk of injury. If you are not comfortable, STOP. I'm contemplating releasing a more detailed guide with additional physical exercises in a future ebook (because why not?).
Monday
Body: Toddler Floor Press. Lay flat on your back on the floor with knees bent so that both feet are planted on the ground. Hold toddler at arm’s length with them facing you. Lower your toddler and kiss them on the head. Squeeze abs and push back up to starting position. Repeat for max reps and sets.
Primary Muscle: Chest
Secondary Muscle(s): Shoulders, Triceps
Mind: Geography. Show your kid(s) a new country on a map. Pull up an image on a tablet/smart phone that shows the landscape.
Heart: High fives. Give your kid(s) 10 high fives. Pretend each one is progressively making your hand hurt worse. Comment on how strong they are.
Spirit: Worship. Teach your toddler a line from your favorite worship song. Sing it together.
Tuesday
Body: Toddler Bent Over Row. With knees slightly bent, keep your back straight and bend over until it is almost parallel with the floor. Grab your toddler (perpendicular to you, facing the ground). Pull toddler to your stomach. Return the toddler towards the ground. When their feet and/or hands graze the ground loudly say “Boing!” and pull them back up again towards your stomach. Repeat for max reps and sets.
Primary Muscle: Back
Secondary Muscle(s): Biceps
Mind: Math. Layout toys in the room and count them together.
Heart: Tickles. Give your kid(s) 10 tickles. Allow them to tickle you back. Laugh hysterically.
Spirit: Prayer for the hurting. Pray with your kid(s) for someone specific that is sick or has a need.
Wednesday
Body: Toddler Squat. Either hug toddler or hold at arm’s length (more difficult – simultaneously works arms). Squat down as low as possible. Return to starting position. Keep a deadpan face and say “ribbit”. Repeat for max reps and sets.
Primary Muscle: Quadriceps
Secondary Muscle(s): Calves
Mind: Science. Show them a picture of a weird animal or an image from space (galaxies, stars, planet, etc.). Go for something interesting and tell them that God made it.
Heart: Funny faces. At the count of 3, everyone is to make the funniest face they can muster.
Spirit: Old Testament. Share an old testament story with your children.
Thursday
Body: Toddler Shoulder Press. Grip toddler under arms. Squeezing abs and keeping back straight, push toddler straight up over your head. Lower toddler and blow a raspberry on their belly. Push back up again. Repeat for max reps and sets.
Primary Muscle: Shoulders
Secondary Muscle(s): Triceps
Mind: English. Pick a word and spell it out loud together.
Heart: Funny faces. At the count of 3, everyone is to make the funniest face they can muster. Do this at least three times.
Spirit: New Testament. Share a new testament story with your children.
Friday
Body: Toddler Swing. Get into squat position with feet shoulder width apart. Grab toddler under arms. Squat up and swing toddler forwards, exploding the hips and making a sound like a rocket blast. (Optional: toss the toddler a short distance in the air and catch). Swing toddler back down to starting position.
Primary Muscle: Hamstrings
Secondary Muscle(s): Low Back, Deltoids
Mind:Art. Draw a picture together. Hang it up on the fridge for a week.
Heart: Animal Impersonations. Pick an animal and have everyone pretend to be one. Do this with at least five different animals.
Spirit: Thanking God. Let everyone pick out three things that they are thankful for. Pray and thank God together.
Saturday
Body: Toddler Wagon Pull (or Car Push). Load your toddler(s) and any additional weight desired into a wagon. With one arm, pull the wagon for a sizeable distance. Make race car noises as you do this. Switch arms and repeat. To increase difficulty, perform on grass or sand (hardest). Alternatively, if you do not have a wagon, buy one immediately – they are one of the most useful tools in the world for parents of toddlers. In the meantime, load your kid(s) into any toy vehicles they have and push them at a sprint instead.
Mind: History. Lookup a historical fact to share with your kids. Loads of options here. Do a web search for “on this day in history” if you have no ideas.
Heart: Hugs. Hug kid(s) for at least ten seconds and tell them how great they are.
Spirit: Love of Jesus. Tell your kids five things that Jesus love them more than (i.e. ice cream, toys, etc.).
Sunday
Rest and reflect on the amazing week you had with your kids! Ask them which activity was their favorite. Repeat challenge as desired!
"Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!..." Psalm 127:4-5 NLT
- Nicolas C. Day
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My wife and I recently conducted a rather convicting parenting exercise. We collected a list of some of the phrases we say to our children and attempted to picture Jesus speaking those same words to us. We quickly realized that some of the words spewing out of our mouths would never be found on the lips of our Lord and Savior. Here's some of our highlights/lowlights (let me know if you can relate to any of these):“I don’t respond to whining.” (Often accompanied by “ask like a man” when talking to my son).
I can just see Him now, throwing His hand up in my face as I cry out in desperate need, “Stop whining, and speak like a man, Nick.” Yikes. While we are to “do everything without grumbling or arguing” (Philippians 2:14 NIV), God does invite us to lay our worries before Him. In fact, He wants you to bring your concerns to Him. “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7 NIV.
Note the distinction here between grumbling and anxiety. In 1 Corinthians 10:10, Paul refers to the grumbling of the Israelites in the desert using the Greek word “gogguzó” – meaning “murmur, grumble (generally of smoldering discontent).”[1] Contrast this with the Greek word “merimna” in 1 Peter 5:7 – meaning “care, worry, anxiety.”[2] Consider also the many lamenting Psalms that beseech God with their complaints in an appropriate manner of prayer.[3] For further reading on “complaining to God” check out this article: http://matthewsleonard.com/is-it-okay-to-complain-to-god/.
“You’re a big boy/girl, do it yourself.”
Imagine God saying, “Why do you need My help? You’re a big Christian now, do it yourself.” I think some people may have the false perception that God does take that stance due to the often misquoted “God helps those who help themselves.” Not only is that not in the bible, but also it is contradictory to what Scripture teaches. Jesus wants us to depend on Him – not do things by ourselves. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5 NIV.
Just as my toddlers are in a constant state of need, so am I utterly dependent on my Father’s help. Whereas I consider my necessities more complex then needing a diaper change and/or finding a lost toy/sippy cup/pacifier in the middle of the night, my children probably share a similar sensation of being completely overwhelmed and helpless to address their problems. Thankfully, God promises to be there to help us through the hard times – even if it doesn’t look quite like what we expected. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” - Isaiah 41:10 NIV.
“Daddy needs some space.”
This is a polite way of telling my kids to leave me the heck alone. This statement typically emerges when my three year old asks “why” for the millionth time that day – or when I am lying down on the ground in exhaustion with my three kids literally jumping up and down on my head. God, however, doesn’t need “space”. He doesn’t ask for a “Daddy break”. Instead, Jesus is constantly beckoning us towards a closer relationship with him. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28 NIV.
Pretty sure if Jesus said some of the things I say to my children to me it would crush me into a tiny little heap on the ground. But that’s not usually the first thing that runs through your mind when you’re a sleep deprived parent with a three year old, a two year old, and a one year old clinging to your legs while screaming/whining/persistently asking random questions/all the above.
The fact is, parenting is hard. Really, really hard. Or as my wife would say, “parenting is the perfect opportunity to practice grace.” As hard as we try, we will certainly fail at times – and that’s where it is helpful to remember the following:
1. “Jesus paid the penalty for every moment when you fail as a parent.” (Parenting, Paul David Tripp)
2. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8 NIV)
Clearly I have some spiritual maturing to do in the realm of parenting. It gently convicts and humbles me to admit this – evidence of God nudging me with His (far better) act of parenting.
Ultimately, I know that no matter how many parenting books I read, I cannot be the father I am called to be without the purifying work of the Holy Spirit. That is just one of the countless reasons that I am thankful for being adopted by the perfect Father in heaven.
“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” - John 1:12 NLT
Pray for me.
-Nicolas C. Day
[1]http://biblehub.com/greek/1111.htm
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Toddlers can be amazing little sources of revelation. Since I am enormously blessed to have three of them, I am dealt a heavy dose of wisdom on a daily basis. Here’s the funny thing about toddlers. Though they are comparatively lacking in accumulated knowledge over their short lives, they still insist on doing things their way (often against the advice of their exasperated parents). For instance, every night (without fail) when I am giving my three-year-old son a bath, I ask him to tilt his head back and look up. This is so when I wash his hair, the water won’t run down and get shampoo into his eyes. He flat out refuses, choosing to look down instead. I warn him multiple times of the consequence of that choice – thinking maybe this will be the night he listens. Inevitably, however, I will end up pouring the jug of water over his downward facing head and the shampoo-infused mixture will predictably flow right into his eyes. Even though it’s tear free he still freaks out and screams, “I WANT A TOWULLUH!” to wipe his face.
Sometimes that sounds like my personal relationship with my heavenly Father. I wonder how many times in my life have I flat out insisted doing things my way against the compassionate urgings of God only to demand a towel afterwards when it all blows up in my face. You’d have thought by now I would have learned to look up first and listen to the voice of infinitely more knowledge than I will ever possess.
The whole sage reminds me of a biblical story that is quickly becoming a favorite for my wife and me – the story of Jehoshaphat.
The ATS Bible Dictionary has this to say about Jehoshaphat:
“He was distinguished by his zeal for true religion, and his firm trust in God. He thoroughly cleansed the land from idolatry, restored the divine ordinances, and provided for the religious instruction of the people. His government was highly prospered at home and abroad.”[1]
Despite the good he accomplished, however, Jehoshaphat’s story is riddled with poor choices (as are all of ours).
Jehoshaphat arranges for an alliance with the wicked King Ahab of Israel. The marriage arrangement results in a failed assault against the Syrians (on which he embarks against the direct advice of God)[2] and reintroduces idol worship in Judah.[3] He then manages to lose an entire fleet of ships in a failed trade agreement.[4] Finally, Jehoshaphat unites with King Joram in a war against Moab.[5] While they are successful, the endeavor spurs a retaliatory assault by a massive coalition of Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, and Syrian armies that marched towards Jerusalem in order to wipe Judah off the face of the map.[6]
Map
Surrounded and on the edge of destruction, Jehoshaphat proclaims a fast in Judah and gathers an assembly in Jerusalem. In faith, he calls out to the Lord, ending his fantastic prayer with the following words:
…we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.” 2 Chronicles 20:12 (NKJV)
Wow…our eyes are upon you… talk about a great time to look up!
God responds, sending his Spirit to speak through a man named Jahaziel:
“…‘Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s…You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!’…” 2 Chronicles 20:15-17 (NKJV)
Sure enough, God arranges for the armies to turn against each other – completely annihilating one another. When Jehoshaphat arrives with his army the next morning, all they could see were dead bodies extending in every direction:
24 So when the army of Judah arrived at the lookout point in the wilderness, all they saw were dead bodies lying on the ground as far as they could see. Not a single one of the enemy had escaped. 2 Chronicles 20:24 (NLT)
Jehoshaphat became a fervent warrior in that moment because he took the counterintuitive step of surrender – shifting his eyes upwards, seeking guidance. As a result of his faithful obedience, God fights the battle completely for him. Had he done otherwise, it would have spelt certain disaster for him.
Like my son in the bathtub, I often find myself gazing downwards, making a mess of things by insisting on doing it my way. My prayer is that I continue to grow in faith and trust to where I am always looking upwards instead – even if it may sting my eyes a little. Wash my hair Your way God – not mine!
- Nicolas C. Day
[1]http://biblehub.com/topical/j/jehoshaphat.htm
[2] 2 Chronicles 18
[3] 2 Kings 8:18
[4] 1 Kings 22
[5] 2 Kings 3
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